HAYAWATAS

I’ll do whatever I’m suppossed to. I’ll take a deep breath and count to ten, maybe a hundred or a million, whichever serves a better purpose. I’ll sit around and wait for my thoughts to go away and my mind to calm down. I’ll try to be smart this time and play it cool. I’ll chill to some music and some drinks. I might even read a little. I’ll do some laundry because anything that keeps me busy looks like the right way to go. I’ll turn on the tv and I’ll watch whatever is on. I’ll make myself some well deserved dinner. I’ll close my eyes and I’ll ask God for patience and wisdom. I’ll look at myself in the mirror and I’ll embrace the sad grinned reflection on it. I’ll walk a little and I’ll come back to the couch. I’ll lie to myself for as long as I have to. I’ll smoke a cigarrette and I’ll look at the moon with no intention to make wishes. I know I’ll feel much better after some time, probably a year or two will be enough, but meanwhile,

I swear I can’t wait to raise some hell!